Conscious Parenting: A Sacred Dance of Souls

For today, these words will suffice, dear reader. For it is the mystical beginning of it all. And that is what I want to leave you with.
May we love them deeply, without interference.
May we see them truthfully, with our heart’s eyes.
May we honour their lights reverently, for they will be the custodians one day.
So may we, yes, may we… just one moment of splendour at a time.
Namaste,
G

As a parent, I’ve often found myself gazing into my children’s eyes, wondering about the mystery of their souls. What brought them here? Who are they truly meant to become? Am I equipped for this? What is my role in it? And I must admit, those weren’t always my first questions when reflecting. In the early days of parenting, my questions were more elementary. I wanted answers, clear ones, answers that would lead me to a great road map for parenting. Who doesn’t love a step-by-step guide to life, right? Maybe something universal, that works for every one of my four kids?

   But, no… That was never to be found. Ever. It was more like going to a ‘haywire’ disco and having to dance to a completely different song every 60 seconds… From classical to pop, from blues to heavy metal. Repeat. Repeat. Can you say over-stimulation in capital letters? Or just pure insanity? Well, in the end the dance must go on… there are children to care for and somewhere we just hope the answers will come through the crazy.

    Eventually, if we persevere and our heart’s eyes start to open — call it a mini parent-awakening of sorts — we realise that parenting doesn’t come with a one-size-fits-all solution. Alas, there is no perfect answer, no golden rule. As with everything in life, the answers are fluid, shifting and evolving, just as we shift and evolve. So, for me now, parenting is not about finding ‘the’ answer. It’s about learning to dance with the questions and the unknown and then finding peace within it all. It is truly a matter of the heart, a sort of spiritual ‘playing field’ where our consciousness is brought under a bright light. It is within this playing field of consciousness that we can truly see ourselves more clearly, warts and all. How gloriously our children mirror us and show us our shadow sides… fun, right?

    We, so easily and unbeknownst to us, become entangled in trying to do things ‘right’ —searching for systems and methods that promise to solve our parenting struggles. We look for certainty, control and clarity but, instead, we often find ourselves buried in the unnecessary complexity. We overthink, overdo and, in the end, we’re left with exhausted parents and stressed children — all of us caught in cycles of frustration, anxiety and burnout. Just to name a few.

     I’VE BEEN THERE TOO. But stepping out of that endless cycle was a freeing journey, one that slowly crept up on me as I grew into my own parenting. Sure, my studies helped me but, looking back, I realise that much of it only fed into the ego — an ego that seeks control in an uncertain world. And when we parent from the ego, we begin to cling to the identity of ‘parent’, as if it somehow gives us the power to control our children’s futures, behaviours and outcomes. Remember, the ego thrives on identity. And simply by calling ourselves ‘parents’ we create a sense of authority, responsibility and purpose. But when we cling too tightly to this role, we forget the deeper truth: We are not defined by roles or labels, we are ever-evolving consciousness, souls on a sacred journey through time and space.

     So, what happens if we put aside our ‘parent label’ for a moment? What do we find? We find ourselves — our authentic selves — on a consecrated journey of our own. And our children? They then too are simply their own souls, walking their own consecrated paths. For this moment, our paths align, but ultimately it is not ours to control. We are fellow travellers on the cosmic highway, together for a moment we can call ‘now’. We simply are, here, together. And within that space of sacred soul togetherness, we find ourselves free from the internal and external pressures of ‘musts’ and ‘must nots’, of wanting and controlling, of fears and anxieties. A deep profound sense of peace is discovered when we simply step into the plane of soul journeys and the eyes of our heart truly begin to… see.

     When we approach parenting from a higher perspective, the role of ‘parent’ transcends the ego. It becomes this sacred invitation to a holy feast, to co-create with our children, to evolve together in a shared experience of love, trust and growth. At that round feasting table, they are not extensions of us but are equal souls with their own wisdom and purpose. Here, it is no longer about shaping our children into our image, but about allowing ourselves to be shaped by the experience of them too — allowing them to teach our souls just as much, if not more, than we teach them.

     This realisation hit me in a particularly humbling way, on a very dark day. I remember sitting on my bed, feeling the weight of it all — juggling everything, feeling depleted and absolutely beyond empty. I was pulled to one of my favourite books The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran. I read his piece about children as I’ve done countless of times before, but this time it was different. So, I read it over and over again. Each time, something inside me unravelled. My ‘parent’ mould started to crack. And as it did, I simply let it — bit by bit, piece by piece. What was left was not just peace, but a profound sense of freedom and clarity. In that dark emptiness, I somehow found the grace and space to grow deeper into my own roots. (Isn’t it always like that though? The dark leading the way to the light.)

    In the breaking of that mould, I uncovered a truth far greater than any ego role I had clung to. I realised that even, with the best efforts, I had nothing to truly shape or control, I was merely a witness and sometimes a guide. The pressure to ‘do it all’ dissolved and was replaced by a new understanding: I am called simply to be present, open and authentic with my children, meeting them where they were, without the need for fixing, controlling, knowing or trying. In letting go of my attachment to the role of ‘parent’, I reclaimed pieces of my own wholeness. And, consequently, I discovered a deeper connection with them — one not bound by ego or expectations, but rooted in a pure, unfiltered space of love. Therefore, I would love to share Kahlil’s words with you and journey into his wisdom from an inquisitive heart space.

“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts.”

This is the profound truth we must embrace: Our children are not possessions nor extensions of ourselves, but unique expressions of the Divine, longing to manifest and know itself. We are merely vessels through which life flows, not the source of it. Our children are entrusted to us temporarily, yet they ultimately belong to the infinite. We are to honour this magnificent gift and then surrender into it. Parenting will then beautifully unfold into an act of stewardship. Yes, we can guide, nurture and love our children, but we don’t intend to mould them into our image or impose our desires on them, for they are sovereign beings, each with their own thoughts, dreams and destinies.

“You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.”

Our children’s souls live in the ‘house of tomorrow’ — a realm beyond our control and understanding. We may offer our souls in love, but we cannot impose ourselves, fears, or expectations onto them. Attempting to shape their minds or spirits according to our ideals denies their connection to their own divine path. Each child is born into a new era and new dawn, carrying the seeds for a future we cannot ultimately know. How can the old then build the new? It can’t. Life goes not backward, nor tarries with yesterday. So uncloak yourself from the old and welcome everything new, intuitively sensing the way forward, day by day. Just… be present.

“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.”

We as parents provide a dynamic foundation from which our children can be launched into the ever-unfolding new world. Like the bow, we can bend and sometimes endure challenges and growth to allow the arrow to fly. This bending is a humbling process, one that requires us to release and trust that our children’s destinies are already unfolding. It can also be seen as the inner work and shadow work we find ourselves doing for the greater good of those we love. ‘Custodian parenting’ is about finding balance between holding on and letting go, between guiding and stepping back and this we can only find when we are connected to who we authentically are – with our own connection to the Divine. Our role is not to micro-manage our children’s paths but to nurture, observe and encourage them as they discover their unique journeys. By embracing this, we honour not only our children but also the Divine plan that flows through them — and through us.

     So, let us step into the present moment and dare to look through unveiled eyes so we can behold our unique parenting journeys – for it is a journey of introspection and growth, of light and love. Let us hold our children — yes — but not too tightly. Let us guide them but also allow them to be the inspired authors of their lives. And, most importantly, let us love them fully and wholly, just as they are. “The parenting journey is a glorious dance between souls. So may we revere it as such and simply… dance along…”

Gérraine Rosenkrantz is a seasoned NLP, EFT, mBIT Master Coach, with a BA (Hons.) Psych. Counselling degree, Gérraine brings all her experience into her daily life and surroundings with vigor! She lives fully and believes anyone can create their dream life, interwoven with grace, wisdom, love and joy. She touches hearts and lives through her writing, by hosting various workshops and with public speaking engagements. Her passion towards conscious parenting is founded on her love of working with relationships holistically, honouring it as a living ecosystem of flow. Beyond her professional pursuits, Gérraine is just a homeschooling mom of 4 gorgeous souls, a passionate writer, weaving mystical insights into everyday life to inspire transformation. For her, life is a daily practice of infusing spiritual awareness into every moment, with as much fun as possible. She finds immense joy in exploring the world with her adventurous spirit, as she believes that each experience is there to enrich our understanding of ourselves and the universe.

Breaking the Code, Conscious Parenting.

Carl Jung said: “You are born on a day and you take on the energy of the day.”

As a code coach, I help parents unravel the potential of their children through an understanding of the unique numbers that make up their day of birth.

On the day we are born, the exact placement of the numbers on the day imprints a code which determines the personality of the person. It highlights their strengths and potential blind spots. There are a number of different systems that use numbers and obviously all of these methods yield results. The code is different from astrology or Meyers Briggs or the enneagram. It is called the code (adapted from the original human pin code). It is about understanding the unique makeup of your child or yourself.

Real love is irreplaceable in parenting, but having a deeper insight into your child’s personality through their birth code gives you an edge. Knowing your child’s preferences, tendencies and inclinations helps you, as a parent, to adjust your approach, making parenting more assured and effective.

Only with real knowledge can we go forward in life. It is the deeper layer that I try to reveal and I read it from the unique code that the birth date unfolds.

From having examined hundreds of codes and from my own experience, I am able to uncover the true character or flavour of the person behind the code. When you observe a child you always notice certain behavioural traits that seem specific to the child. If you know the code of the child you will be far more likely to observe particular traits with certainty and then, as a parent, you can adjust your attitude to your parenting, as it is determined by your knowledge.

A child who is naturally caring and loving, could also be very insecure. Or the child could love learning and always be keen to learn something new and yet be subject to overwhelm and confusion. How do you handle this? I look at the code and highlight the complementary strengths that you can focus on. I try to highlight practical insights and tools to help you, as a parent, to support the child’s strengths and to turn their potential blind spots or challenges to the good.

In the case of the child who is naturally gifted with the ability to organise, you can encourage them to develop this skill. Yet you need to understand that the flip side to this natural ability is an intensity and rigidity that can be just too much. By recognising the instinctive strength that this gift presents, one can help the child to adjust their behaviour to strengthen the positive aspects of the quality and turn down the intensity. This will support the child’s natural organisational abilities. With the parent’s understanding and clarity the gift is amplified and a balance is established.

With the gift of patience, its flip side may be a lack of confidence. In the case of quick thinking, its flip side may manifest as nervousness.

If you understand the deeper landscape of your child you are alerted to the possibilities that are inherent in the child as the code reveals it. In particular, one can see from the code how a person will respond under stress. Some will immediately retreat and become frozen with silence from the shock and then become confused and illogical. Others will face it head on and become verbal and immediately come up with a plan. Others will be stubborn and immovable in their approach. One gets surprised by the reactions of a child under stress. A naturally sensitive child may deal with stress with a cool head while an extroverted child could appear in an opposite guise. There are so many approaches to stress. The code reveals these details and, as a parent, you can understand the child’s reactions far more easily and support them with more wisdom.

You are probably wondering what the code can reveal about those born on the same day and, in particular, twins. The answer is that from the code I can see which aspect each child is bringing to the fore as a result of the relationship – the synergy – they share with each other. Twins are like any relationship. They are unique individuals, but the special bond they share with each other determines what aspect will be stronger in their individual personalities. As in any relationship, we mask certain traits. Bear in mind that it is in relationships that we grow. Twins are the same. The relationship they have is their greatest test and opportunity. Then, as a parent, you are helped to unmask the relationship they have and to focus on the positives/strengths that each twin brings. I alert you to these aspects and introduce you to a different dynamic in your parenting approach.

I always focus on supporting the positive skill of the child. In a situation where children are more outgoing and vocal in their communication, they may struggle with criticism. At the same time they may be very caring and loving. If you concentrate on reprimanding them constantly you lose touch with their gentle side and you may find yourself with a problem you could have avoided had you focused on the caring nature of this child. Yet the more vocal, forceful character of the child could have hidden his sensitivity and often his vulnerability. Sensitivity in children is so often misunderstood, as is hyperactivity. Learning to understand the various aspects and gifts that the child presents enables one to get a clear and concise overview of the child. The code will always show me what the child is about. I can see if the child tends to be imaginative or analytical, logical or curious, practical or illogical, patient or nervous. Then one learns to balance the various aspects.

In the case of the child who constantly needs to complete tasks as opposed to one who rushes from task to task, you need to adjust your approach as a parent to the child and, once you have a sense of certainty as to their instinctive pattern, you can deal more effectively with the behaviour that the child presents. It’s all in the code and, as a parent, you can really learn to know your child and deeply connect to their aspirations, which may be deeply hidden. If you know what they are about, you can help yourself and them to adjust their reactions and so strengthen their true selves and connect to their deep purpose in life.

Every child brings their own gifts to their lives and we try as parents to help them recognise their path and to learn to focus on their innate strengths. If you really know your child you can help them to develop their natural skills more easily and overcome their personal obstacles far more quickly. You want your child to find a career and life path that resonates with their strengths and enables them to shine their light in the world. This is what conscious parenting is about: Really parenting with knowledge and not with a hit-and-miss approach. It makes your life easier and gives you more assurance as a parent. If you know the code of the child, you will know the child.

Contact me for an in-depth code discussion, either in a written format or face to face or online. Join me and crack your code!

Jean Struthers – [email protected]

Conscious Parenting Indaba Launches 2025

When one hears the term ‘Conscious Parenting’, it conjures various meanings for each listener. To demystify it a bit, I will share my straightforward understanding of it – then we can get to the good stuff!

Conscious parenting emphasises a mindful and aware approach in guiding our interactions with children. It encourages us as parents to reflect deeply on our own emotions, behaviours, and reactions, recognising that our unresolved issues can affect our parenting. It’s focused on fostering a connection that prioritises authenticity and mutual respect. It allows our children to develop into their true selves, free from imposed expectations or societal norms, while promoting a nurturing environment where both parent and child can grow emotionally and spiritually. That’s it in a nutshell and it is one of the strong pulses in the veins of my daily life.
     But now, can I lead you into the deeper realms of my heart as a mom? I will not come to you as a psychological counsellor, master coach, or consciousness teacher. No, not today. For now, I’ll simply put on my mom slippers and invite you to be beside me for a while…
    There I was, sitting on a very isolated beach in a little, unknown town where few people come. I went into the depths of my being again. “Just a little while, G,” I say to myself with a grin. “Don’t get lost in it for too long this time!” But oh, how I love going there! I never really come back the same. So, there I am, just being, when the moment overwhelmed me – purely, innocently and gloriously.
     I see the vast ocean before me, in all her splendour. It always feels as though she is crashing each wave for me, bringing herself closer to my being, singing songs of ancient memories. She woos me. But then, I hear a child’s laughter roll in with the wind, rustling in my ear and sending ripples of joy down to every part of my seen and unseen essence, touching my hidden insides. I look away from the magnificent ocean, over my shoulder and I see. I see. I see so much in this moment and I am completely overcome. Time stands still and slowly pulls me close in a warm embrace. She etches memories and emotions onto my skin, deeper and deeper. Before my eyes… there’s another magnificent canvas unfolding.
     I see them, all four of them… each one in their own little heaven right here, right now – in this Kairos time of divine bliss. One is sitting on a sand dune, drinking in the precious moment and thinking about whatever a pubescent teenager wants to think about, I suppose. But she is the dawn itself. She is the one who opened the first door in my heart 14 years ago. She touches the light with her eyes and her smile reflects it back to those around her. She is solid, quiet and ever steady. And she loves horses. Aaaah, she is probably thinking about that! But I see her, fully, in all her radiance.
        Over there, kicking a rugby ball, is a pillar of strength with red curly hair (which he is obsessed with, we should respectfully note – cue teenager vibes). He was born only 12 years ago, yet his soul carries ancient stories and energies. He is wise, too wise. He is strong, too strong… yet so utterly witty and fun! But his heart is too soft for a cruel world and I weep for that many a day. I see him, I see him.
      My Lu is pure sunshine. I see her, dancing in front of the ocean, singing a song I can’t hear. But the ocean does. The ocean listens to her intently and dances with her, as though she herself, Mama Ocean, is mesmerised by Lu and her shine. They dance as one, each in their own way, making songs about dreams and hopes, about visions and missions. She is the full spectrum of colour, this feisty, sensitive one. She carries the world at the tender age of 10. And often, I want to help her carry that load… but I can’t. I see her. I simply see her in her wonderment.
      My rainbow boy over there, a compilation of various hues and grace, of heart and depth… he runs. Oh, how he loves to run! He is a cloud chaser, a wind maker. He sees the world through untouched visions and his eyes sparkle with Spirit’s greatness. He lights up this world. He guides and weaves with unseen things just by living fully. He is soft, yet strong beyond imagination. He has saved me many times – at only seven years of age. Too many times to mention, but he did so without even knowing it. I see him and drink him in like drops of dew.
      In this instant, these four columns of light play in my vision field on the tapestry of Pachamama’s greatness. I have no words. Only feelings that overcome me. And that, to me, is conscious parenting. It is the interwoven galaxies of spirits and souls walking on this earth as parents and children – children who may one day be parents themselves. Honouring cycles and seasons with their own beings. We are all one, we are all connected and to think that we are separate creates such an absurd and painful inner death in the soul. Within the illusion of detachment and separation, we find ourselves with labels and expectations. All neatly boxed. I am the parent. You are the child. I know. You don’t. I will teach you. You. Me.
     Those columns of light came to me from the stars themselves and I profoundly sense that daily. They are not just my children; they are cosmic firmament particles settling into the earthly realm – each one a unique expression of stardust and God. They come to us more sensitive, more in tune with the universe; they come to us as gifts and guides towards a future that we will never be able to see with these physical, optical-illusion eyes.
       Then I ask you humbly, who are we to think that we can mould and shape them? Who are we to think that we know better than they do for themselves? Who are we to impose our own limited beliefs and our own fears onto them? Who are we to dim the light in their eyes?
     That is the crucible of conscious parenting: seeing them for who they are, honouring that and guiding them when needed – but only when truly needed. There is such a delicate balance between telling them what to do and allowing them to be their authentic selves.
      But G, you may ask, “How? This sounds a bit airy-fairy, a bit mystical.” Well, I live in the world of mysticism and I dream of a world where more of us do! For the magic is found there, more often than not, in plain sight for us to find – a galactical treasure hunt, we may say! Mystical parenting… maybe I should call it that!
     The key for me lies within the heart. When we start on our own path of conscious living, we begin to purge the dust and debris within our hearts. We may tear down the walls we’ve built around it. Walls with names such as conditioning, fear, beliefs, past wounds – or simply, as I like to call it, the matrix. It is often an excruciating endeavour to begin with, but it is also gloriously beautiful in its unravelling! Meanwhile, our children are born with their hearts still utterly open and connected to the mystical source of being-ness. They simply need guidance, support and love. We can teach them how to connect to that heart source, of course, and how to live from their inner self, from wisdom and from intuition. That, dear soul, is where the true power lies: Within THEM. But for us to be able to guide, support and love them fully, we need to enter the daunting gauntlet of living from the heart space ourselves. As we elevate our consciousness, we elevate our parenting automatically. As we live more and more from the heart, we give them permission, unconsciously, to do the same. As we stand up for who we are and live in our authentic self-expression, we show them it is possible. Open your hearts to them and see them as they are, not as you want them to be. Simply as they are. Honour their beings, their light and the stories they carry within. But do so with yourself first. Open your heart to yourself and let the light in.
     Our children don’t need fancy schools or toys – they need presence, unconditional love and acceptance. They need a safe space where they can feel everything and live through everything that life throws at them, so that they can one day face it on their own, with courage and an inner connection to their higher self. That inner connection then becomes the bridge between their hearts and their minds, between themselves and the systems at large. Let their intuition guide them and honour their deeper knowing. It builds trust within themselves, towards themselves. We are merely guides for a little while, but we must guide with our heart’s eyes wide open. It will be painful some days, but growing pains serve a purpose. Watch them make mistakes; don’t fix it for them! Just be with them in the thick of it, as a witness. And should they ask… then you can maybe guide them. The best way, though, is with clever questioning and reflection. They walk alongside us, not behind us. They are often our teachers more than we are theirs. They birth parts of us that no one else can birth. Yes, there are many techniques and ways of uncovering this connection with regards to parenting. But not now, not today.

For today, these words will suffice, dear reader, for it is the mystical beginning of it all. And that is what I want to leave you with:

May we love them deeply, without interference.
May we see them truthfully, with our heart’s eyes.
May we honour their lights reverently, for they will be the custodians one day.
So may we, yes, may we… just one moment of splendour at a time.

Namaste,
G

Gérraine Rosenkrantz is a seasoned NLP, EFT, mBIT Master Coach, with a BA (Hons.) Psych. Counselling degree, Gérraine brings all her experience into her daily life and surroundings with vigor! She lives fully and believes anyone can create their dream life, interwoven with grace, wisdom, love and joy. She touches hearts and lives through her writing, by hosting various workshops and with public speaking engagements. Her passion towards conscious parenting is founded on her love of working with relationships holistically, honouring it as a living ecosystem of flow. Beyond her professional pursuits, Gérraine is just a homeschooling mom of 4 gorgeous souls, a passionate writer, weaving mystical insights into everyday life to inspire transformation. For her, life is a daily practice of infusing spiritual awareness into every moment, with as much fun as possible. She finds immense joy in exploring the world with her adventurous spirit, as she believes that each experience is there to enrich our understanding of ourselves and the universe.

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