Here we are, at a macro pivotal point in humanity’s story and in this now moment, as you are reading what I am writing, we are both answering a universal call to remember who we really are beyond the noise, the stories and the forgetting.
The patterns of our past that shaped our ways of thinking, doing and being are now converging in ways that can no longer be ignored. These once invisible cycles are becoming visible, calling us to remember who we are, to release what no longer serves and to live in alignment with our soul – the blend of spirit and body that I call SoulBeing.
Let us for a moment imagine living in a state of being that is no longer animated by old programming and external pressure but is moved by heart wisdom and soul resonance in an alchemical energetic formula.
Everything in the Universe is energy. This energy moves in waves. Waves form patterns. Patterns create rhythms. Rhythms shape cycles which begin and end, creating change. Life is rhythm. And you, too, are rhythm – a moving, living, breathing dance of energy in motion.
Accessed through the heart and activated in the body, SoulBeing is a felt experience, in the breath, in the silence, in the movement. Whether you are just beginning your journey or have travelled far along the path of awakening, SoulBeing meets you exactly where you are – with love, with presence and with an experience meant for your highest good in that moment.
As we reflect, soften and lean into this vibration of beingness, we begin to see that our evolution follows a sacred flow: From history to mystery, from doing into being and from being to soul embodiment. This is a path from separation to oneness, from certainty to awe and wonder. It is a shift from attachment and control to letting go and dancing with conscious co-creation through open heart-led awareness, intuitive soul-aligned choices, conscious love-aligned words and actions.
This journey is not a linear one. It spirals, it returns, it deepens with every turn as we are invited to live more fully, more freely and more soulfully. The dance with mystery calls us to show up in all our humanity – emotionally, mentally, physically – letting go of the weight of history through softening the heart, stilling the mind and seeking connection with spirit.
Life invites us to remember that our human experiences, all of them from challenges to triumphs, are a part of our soul’s curriculum. How we show up and do anything is how we do everything and to be the full expression of who you are means to acknowledge a universal truth: That change is inevitable, but growth is our conscious choice.
When we soften our attachment to fixed thoughts, dissolve rigid structures and let go of emotional habits, we dissolve and re-imagine ourselves, not as static beings but as fluid expression of becoming. Like the, nymph (or larva), living in a watery underworld which becomes a luminescent dragonfly, we too transform, evolving from one realm to another.
Our compass of awareness and coherence in this journey is our heart. It bridges consciousness between body and mind, guiding where we place our attention, attention shaping our intention and intention inspiring action. With this compass, we have the choice to learn from our history and to navigate our outer and inner worlds with full (pr)essence and resonance.
In the realm of what might be called the ‘Human Doing’, a world shaped by outward behaviour, by conformity, by structures designed for control, it is here that we can see and recognise the patterns we have inherited – cultural, generational, societal. Through looking backwards and observing, we become aware of these patterns, a first step towards transformation.
Awareness in the mind alone is not enough. True transformation begins when we turn inwards and pay attention to the stories unfolding between the head and the heart. This inward shift leads us into the realm of Human Being – a deeper, more intimate journey into the subconscious layers of self: Our beliefs, assumptions, judgments and emotional conditioning. As we sense the subtle undercurrents of emotion and habitual reactions in the body, we open the doorway to emotional freedom and heart energy mastery.
It is in this realm, the space of introspection and insight, that we meet the intelligence of the heart. We learn to understand our own energy, to feel our internal rhythms, our emotional waves that guide us from within. Through this understanding we awaken the ability to live with intention, to shape our energy, not from fear and reactivity, but empowered by conscious choice and a deep desire to grow in our humanity.
And then, we are called beyond. Beyond history, beyond the inward landscape, into what can only be felt, lived and trusted moment to moment. Here, we live into the unknown, the expansion of the universe, the mystery. It is not about arriving at a final truth but about dancing with life itself. This is ‘SoulBeing’.
We awaken the wisdom spark of both heart and soul, allowing spirit to meet flesh fully. It is here that attention and intention become vibrational tools – guides that allow us to shape our lives in alignment with the deeper and higher intelligence that flows through all things.
In this continuous unfolding, our relationship with life transforms, cycling through layers of awareness. Where we once held the belief that Life happens to me, we begin to feel the truth that Life flows through me, alive in our hearts, shaped by our (pr)essence and intention. And perhaps, we come to embody the knowing that Life is happening as me, an internal mystery school of Being, a remembering of our connection to and expression of Source. And when we follow the intuitive nudges to act on our highest joy, to the best of our ability, without trying to control how things unfold, we align ourselves vibrationally with the cosmic intention of ‘trusting, trusting, cha cha cha’, and we become both the Dancer and the Dance with Life, a spiritual being having a human experience.
You are a wave. You are a rhythm. You are a rippling movement.
In the sacred dance of life.
About Liz: Liz Cunningham – Heart Leader Soul Mover Free Spirit Living, leading & shining the power of heart and soul intelligence into the dance of love awakening on the plane
From Debra’s Desk:JOIN US IN A CELEBRATION OF CONSCIOUSNESS AND THE HUMAN SPIRIT
The KwazuluSpirit Festival™, initially inspired by Bali Spirit Festival, the New Zealand North and South Spirit Festival, has been curated in 2025 with the reviews of 2023 and 2024 top of mind. This festival is our third year in celebration of the human spirit, our humanity and divinity, a vibrant exploration of consciousness and wellbeing.
The festival weekend launches on Friday 25 July at 12 noon with a Conscious Parenting Indaba. The KwazuluSpirit Festival continues 26 July 9:30 until 18.00, followed by the Sensorium Soundscape from 18:30 -20:30. Sunday 27 July is the festival day which commences Sunday 09:30 and concludes Sunday at 17:00.
On Saturday and Sunday we bring you deeply transformational and uplifting experience The programme offers the opportunity to attend Powerful Talks and Immersions with our master coaches and industry thought leaders, both at the KwazuluSpirit festival on the 26th and 27th July and our Conscious Parenting Indaba on Friday the 25th July.
We bring you Tai Chi and Yoga each day with International masters. Reclaim your sense of joy as you dance with life, in Sacred Dance, Nia and Yoga Nidra. Our bliss booths offer an Energy Healing marathon with over 450 healing sessions over two days.
Enjoy this personal journey of discovery curated to nourish body and mind and to set your spirit free. On Friday 25 July we bring you the Conscious Parenting Indaba Conscious parenting encourages parents to deeply understand their own emotions, triggers and beliefs and how these influence their children. Too often children serve as mirrors of their parents’ forgotten self. We bring you thought leaders who take you through all the archetypes on womanhood, the maiden, the mother and the crone. Those who highlight the role of fathers in nurturing their children’s emotional development, building their self-esteem, and providing solid guidance for life. Those who take us on journey to recognise the gift that each child brings into their own lives enabling us to recognise their path and focus on their innate strengths.
On Saturday 26 July we invite you to immerse yourself in Sensorium SENSORIUM is a conscious touch and sensory soundscape experience that includes theta and beta waves, solfeggio frequencies, binaural beats, saxophone and vocals. In todays’ world, somatic polyvagal relaxation work has been scientifically shown to improve sleep, mood, libido and ability to communicate and relate to others. Adding conscious touch and all of our senses in meditative musical space exponentially increases the experience. It’s not just music, it’s a deep sensory experience that you have, as you let the frequencies, brainwaves and song work with your subconscious mind.
We look forward to welcoming and look forward to sharing this space in time, in connection with you,
With BLISSEXOLOGY thought leader Anne-Marie Clulow, founder of Intimacy Coach International
Integrating sexual energy into the spiritual path or consciousness path, is often the place spiritual folk in many different modalities get stuck.
From the Christians to the esoteric mystics, from the Yoginis to the religious folk. It’s certainly where I got mired in the belief systems and agendas of others for around two years.
Sometimes in the beginning of a spiritual sexual journey you have to explore the profane first.
It’s not the only way, but what I’ve found is, if you try and explore the energy from a place of perfection or ‘higher energies’ only, the lack of grounding and shadow work will shipwreck you before your voyage has even begun.
Sexual energy, meeting needs and desires, exploration with consciousness is often fraught with those who run a sexual agenda that only meets their own needs, not those of the student.
The beginning of the conscious journey into the shadow involves the understanding and often the experiencing of what is taboo in our world, or at least what is considered uncomfortable.
I often watch reality programmes about hoarders, as I love watching the transformations.
Hoarders are often people who get so emotionally overwhelmed that they end up living in rubbish and collected things, feeling frozen, unable to let anything go.
These souls often need serious help from therapists and people who help them practically by wading into the mess with them and cleaning.
Without judgement or force.
I’ve been around a lot of clients who feel this way energetically around sexuality.
It got overwhelming.
They didn’t want anyone to see their mess and shame.
And then it got so overwhelming, change became impossible on their own.
A journey out of the shame and into bliss and awareness is possible.
It starts with looking deeply within, seeing and freeing the shadows.
And knowing that you’re not alone.
There are many spiritual people who need help with this part of their path.
You are not dirty, or disgusting to have desires.
You can work with the root and the sky with awareness and balance.
The unconscious exploration of the profane can get you lost in the ultimate mammal.
The amount of gurus or spiritual teachers who end up in scandals involving sexuality, often even leaning into the abusive, is high.
Perhaps because they felt themselves ‘too spiritual’ to acknowledge their sexuality.
When I started my journey into exploring desire, I attended quite a few Tantra workshops and began to understand that the fantasy of anything was often not the reality.
One of my favourite stories is when I finally got to experience a group of people massaging me, working with my energy, the taboos of nudity and sensual touch integrated into the space.
I thought it would be overwhelmingly sexual.
I thought it would ‘turn me on’.
I thought it would be a fantasy realised.
Until I burst into joyous tears during the experience, as I’d never felt so loved, so much a part of a mindful community with conscious touch.
That experience (luckily) had clear boundaries and didn’t include anyone being able to derail it into a merely sexual space.
The safety of boundaries created the experience of desire and sensuality to transcend beyond the mammal, into collective consciousness and heightened energy.
I am not saying that being turned on, or feeling really sexual is bad, or low frequency.
I’m saying that it is the inclusion of discovering all aspects of the sexual energy that can balance it out and remove the fear, shame and guilt.
And it’s different for everybody.
There’s no one way to do it ‘right’.
I have found that, without the conscious exploration of fantasy, taboo and desire, there’s no true balance in this human spiritual path.
It also tends to rise up later on the path, connecting the energies between ground and sky like a lightning strike of fear, guilt and shame.
Although quite a few people may say that there’s only ‘one path’ for this energy, that has not been the experience of those I respect and work with on this part of the spiritual path.
I believe that you can learn to harness the lightning in a bottle instead, when you are willing to consciously work with it.
For some, it may include orgies and sexual experiences.
For some it may include gentle exercises within a monogamous marriage.
There is no polarised path here of right or wrong.
There is a calling to balance, to integration.
Of alignment of energies, without judging your own taboos.
The lived reality of this energy is such an individual experience, that YOU are the only true expert on your own journey.
For me – and other tantrikas – there is a path through the fire of arousal and exploration that leads to a more balanced integration between sex and spirit.
And it starts with a deep and conscious dive into your own desires, with awareness.
Sometimes it’s the missing link that helps everything else make sense
Sometimes it’s the healing from this shadow that opens up possibilities.
And I firmly believe it’s the key to longevity and harnessing your own power when it doesn’t cause intentional harm and is integrated into your own personal spiritual journey with respect, awe and deep love.
Far better for us here in this incarnation than fear, guilt and shame.
As Rumi said so succinctly:
“Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field, I’ll meet you there.”
You just have to be willing to look into your field.
Meet Thought Leader, Anne-Marie Clulow KwazuluSpirit Festival 25-27.07.2025 Book your Ticket
About Anne-Marie Clulow: Anne-Marie is the founder of Intimacy Coach International and certifies and trains Intimacy Coaches worldwide to run sessions with neo-Tantra, Taoist sexuality and sensual/massage skill sets, with a set code of conduct for sessions. Having been with her husband for 27 years, their passion is working with people to improve their pleasure skill sets and relationships, both online and with couples’ retreats. Anne-Marie has appeared on 702, Radio Today, Power FM and Kaya FM talking about conscious sexuality and neo Tantra, featured in Women & Home magazine and has been a guest twice on ETV’s ‘Great Expectations’ on regaining libido after childbirth.
Conversations with Kuthumi Transmitted through Chanel Lingenfelder
I AM Kuthumi, greetings.
The gift of awakening and awareness is a personal treasure. It is the sacred essence of stepping into the higher frequency of that which life gifts you with.
Whilst experiencing your human skin, some activities are distinctly pleasurable, whilst others, unbeknownst, hold their own treasures. Exploring the gifts of awakening through awareness reveals much that awaits within the unknown.
To begin with, you enter life with a ‘program’ which we previously discussed. You come equipped with a ‘dormant’ etheric toolbox, which awakens as you do. As you grow out of your old skin, these discoveries come to life. The deeper you delve, the greater the discovery!
Curveball cushions
Your gifts or pointers serve as reminders, strategically placed at ‘decision or choice’ intersections along your journey, planned before arrival. Much like your alarm clock reminds you to wake up, these etheric ‘reminders’ (with the help of your guides) do the same, impacting your vast energy field, giving a squeeze, nudge, or push ‘wake-up’ call.
These triggers are stored within your programming or etheric memory. To a great degree, this is infused into your cellular tissue as part of your etheric energy acting on and feeding off soul instruction.
So too do you receive impulses via your Cave of Consciousness or Akash, acting on previous or karmic memory. Your Akash is also infused into your DNA, thus biology. These pointers pulse information between internal and external influences, thus from a non-linear perspective, all is as ONE. Thus, in truth, there is no given separation between your extended bodies and humanness.
You have ‘various’ energy bodies and systems infused into and beyond a very complex physicality. Thus, along with a multi-dimensional biological system, you have complex brain function as previously discussed. No matter who you ‘think’ you are, you are ALL of it! The only time separation occurs is during transition, leaving the flesh behind.
Now that too can be complicated as you experience (and explore) various consciousness shifts during separation. Your essence as a whole facilitates this, be it a ‘quick’ exit or prolonged lessons to the end. This includes the part that your personality-self plays in all this. This may commonly take on the form of a coma, semi-coma, self-induced exit, or full consciousness.
Separating your cell tissue from its etheric connection can thus be systematic or sudden. Next is the full reconnection (recognition) of your etheric self with your soul/super consciousness. This includes traversing through your planetary ‘memory lane’ along with recognising your Akash and its complicated impulses or programming.
The ‘disconnected’ soul essence infuses completely into its greater aspect, your Higher Self, as the final ‘evacuation’ completes.
There are a great number of influential portals supporting your entrée and exit. The thought of it all can be extremely intimidating, especially to the uninformed.
Awareness stirs awakening into motion
Your pointers serve as reminders, yet true awakening cannot be enforced. You can’t ‘decide’: “Oh well, let’s see what this ‘new age’ fuss is all about, so let me awaken.” NO, it happens to you.
This happens when lower brain function gives control to higher mind processes, allowing the gateways of the unknown to open up. Thus by consciously exploring Free-Will (12 chakra), you venture along unexplored paths creating amazing new Timelines or ‘ways of being’.
Once that initial seed is planted, the soul essence takes the lead, encouraging you (the personality) to explore, which prompts you to ‘react’ to etheric triggers with greater ease. Your consciousness, depending on its evolved state, receives its ‘guidance’ via your subconscious, intuition (higher mental) and your spirit, thus super consciousness, which becomes multifaceted
Once your sacred connection to the latter is secure, TRUST allows the pathways (of your pointers) to reveal themselves. A clearer connection is (re)established between the ‘purest’ part of your essence (Higher Self) and your lower duality personality ‘awakening’ self.
Your Higher Self is the amalgamation of your soul essences, including fragments not part of this incarnation. It is the greater aspect of you, overseeing you. One of its main attributes is its gift of filtering higher information into an understandable frequency for your humanness to grasp.
ALL higher communication, channelling and the like is done via your Higher Self. Full stop.
Some experience the ‘awareness of their awakening’ as a jolt, an epiphany, or near-death experience. Others have out-of-body experiences, ‘seeing things’ within the astral planes, or during a dream or astral travel. Consciously, synchronicity then plays its ‘pointers’ game!
Generally, in the old energy, it was either fear of the unknown or fear of the known, as with your institutions, that ‘pointed’ folk in the direction of making peace with the afterlife, at a price.
Alchemy sets transmutation in motion
Once awakening stirs, a series of alchemical events begin to unfold. Once indoctrination transmutes into golden awareness, you have arrived!
Gold as an etheric frequency is active throughout your 12th chakric system, opposed to a mere fraction within the lower ‘limited’ system. Most prominent are: the evolved heart(4), crown(7),eighth, 10th and the ‘recalibrated’ solar plexus, whose core flame is Ruby Gold. The Golden Crown (7) and Ruby Base (1) merge, creating an alchemical explosion or recalibration within the solar plexus (3), which births authenticity.
Why the solar plexus (SP)? Well, what needs a jolt more than the seat of the Personality-Self!
The base (1) and crown (7) chakras ALWAYS feed off each another, facilitating an alchemical understanding of the higher levels of the lower self, authentically (3-SP).
Yes, the more aware, the less selfish. Yet, even if you master ‘organic’ selflessness, never lose your identity! You will never be expected to pretend that past experiences or selfish choices didn’t happen. When you make peace with anything, it no longer has lower egoic influence or command over you. Once able to ‘creep from its shadow’, heal your guilt and let it be gone!
Know where you have been, where you are at and, most importantly, what your intentions are focused upon! The alchemy of transformation lies in transmuting all experiences to (re)shape the new.
You leave behind many boxes you tried fitting in but couldn’t. Some even bring excitement, yet as you awaken, discomfort sets in, especially when it comes to the boxes you are ‘expected’ to fulfil.
The alchemy of your consciousness creates this and the innate alchemy of your soul facilitates the ‘joyful ticking of those boxes’!
One of the greatest attributes of this process is freedom. Breaking free from restrictions set by another – and to, like the phoenix, rise from your ashes and be born anew!
You test yourself!
Follow like sheep, or embark on the journey your soul personality dreams of and is fully capable of unveiling! To facilitate this, fear must go! The alchemy of your shifting consciousness calls upon the Golden Pyramid within the eighth together with the evolved sixth chakra, to help facilitate letting go of fear on deeper levels.
From ‘below’ you leap into the unknown, from ‘above’ the unknown reaches out to you. The Cosmic Counsel of Light, together with your ‘watchers and guides’, connect and ‘read’ your colours (personality and soul frequency) by tapping into the sacred essence within the highest level of your Soul Chakra Pyramid (eighth).
Challenges aren’t meant to ‘trick or test’ you unless you gave permission for this. Thus, ‘You test yourself.’
Humanity is quick to ‘blame God’ for this and that, yet YOU give the permission and God allows your journey to be set into motion. All of Creation is in constant motion, learning, discovering and evolving.
Creation is way beyond what humanity may think it is. It is INFINITE, ORDERLY, INTENSE, COMPLICATED, YET SIMPLE. Although you prefer to relate to legions within hierarchies, it isn’t, yet it is! There is no real separation as EVERYTHING IS ONE yet distinctly different without set divisions.
This is all I can share for now about that.
Focus on the questions of self in this timeline. If you feel unfavourable about the choices and decisions you have made, analyse these. Validate your decisions from your heart space using your chakric system. Visualise your Golden Key/Ankh within the Golden Rose to enter into your Sacred Heart.
As long as there is breath in your body, you are connected to Source as a human earthling. When the physical connection terminates, it folds into itself and is dispsosed of. Your true essence, including the part reading these words, remains, has awareness, memory, remembers discoveries and experiences. It recalls where you’ve started and ended. It expands beyond the limitation of this illusion.
You are greeted by your earthly experiences ‘back home’. Beloveds, see your lifetimes as ‘programmes’ instead of mistakes, for mistakes don’t exist! Some experiences you conquer, whilst others you don’t. Then there are those that are simply ‘reloaded’, forming the basis of your next.
An alchemist transforms through LOVE. Like a cup of sand that can never be separate from the beach where it’s collected, or a glass of sea water from its ocean, neither can you be separate from Source, which only knows LOVE.
The gift of life welcomes your entry as it does your exit. Don’t let the lessons in between spoil your fun whilst working towards the Ascension of your Consciousness!
Physical ascension
Creation is mostly undefined, it’s that vast. Like your Earth and ALL of Creation, your physicality has been manipulated, restructured and is ever evolving. Yet the continuous expansion of the mind is where your more valuable treasures lie lovingly in waiting.
Now hear this, what on God’s green earth would you want to do with this body anywhere else?
What would be the point? To impress who? To drag where? If the infinite part of yourself in this existence is pure consciousness, why would you insist on dragging the finite along? For validation that you are (were) indeed human?
We will leave it at that! We shall continue this discussion in discourses to follow.
May the Light of the Living Christ be within you, may you know that not now or not ever can you be alone.
You want to walk this journey? You want to learn, discover and be the alchemist? Welcome home beloveds! Welcome indeed!
I AM Kuthumi, I AM the Lord and Master Chohan of the Golden Rays of Love and Wisdom and I greet and bless thee with awakening and awareness.
Adonai.
Meet Thought Leader, Chanel Lingenfelder KwazuluSpirit Festival 25-27.07.2025 Book your Ticket
About Chanel Lingenfelder: Chanel is a Therapist, Spiritualist, Trans-Voice Channel for the Ascended Masters, Lightworker and author of ‘From Party Patsy to Praying Patricia’. Apart from earning mega academic accolades she is the bringer of love, light and laughter everywhere she goes, her service in the light serves all consciousness in support of the unfolding Golden Age.
Chanel lives in Howick South Africa. Author of “From Party Patsy to Praying Patricia” – www.visionoftheheart.co.za
Once upon a time, there was a night when I asked the Earth to take me. I prayed and bled tears, begged for a hole to open beneath me and swallow me whole. The inner unravelling was too much to bear. I lay in a field of wild grass, the only light in a vast and aching dark was the swollen full moon, pregnant. The burning pain in my chest felt like the end of me and, what I didn’t see then, is that it was the end of me. I had nothing left but wails and salt and surrender. So, I asked for the ground to open – to draw me into its dark belly for one last holy decomposition.
But instead… it gave me an intensely clear vision. The sky above me cracked open – black, vast – and in it I saw my own hands: Torn, bloodied, shaking. Stars scattered all about the black canvas void. Bloodied hands worn from a life of trying – and failing. A voice, ancient and holy, whispered only three words: Weave with stars. Again and again: Weave with stars…
That was the beginning of a journey I never sought, never imagined, never understood – but one that rooted itself deeply in me. A journey into my own soul, into surrender, into motherhood, into mystery. I did not understand it then, but the words became a thread that stitched themselves into my being. They returned each time I faced the rawness of being human – each time life stretched me beyond what I thought I could hold. And in those moments, all I would hear was: Weave with stars…
Over the years I’ve come to know that weaving with stars is no small thing. It is to weave with the unseen. To live not from plans or formulas, but from presence, awareness, grace and love. It is to become the hands that do not know exactly what they are doing, only that they are… and that somehow, that is enough. It is more than enough, it is holy.
A few months ago, I saw those hands again in a vision… but this time, they were not bloodied or broken. They were simply working and weaving, working and weaving – steady, quiet, weaving woollen thread at a loom. Oh, they were working! And it was beautiful! As if each movement was a hymn of praise and love itself. So devoted to the weaving that they had forgotten that they were even doing anything. Suf… Suf… Suf… The accompanying sound. Suf… Suf… Suf… Weaving, weaving, weaving.
The vision wove its way into my tapestry of life. Calling me to understand new depths of living, loving and parenting. I am just a walking story, like any other. Etched and scarred. Patterns and prints woven into this soul being that I call ‘self’. The unravelling came to rip apart pieces of this self that were no longer serving my deep, authentic soul being. But what came after that absolute inner death… were the same two hands. Their essence changed and refreshed, their wounds healed somewhat – and they were dancing in front of a loom…
My visions became holy visitations – a voice no less than a hush from the unseen, a breath from beyond the veil. To name it would be sacrilege. It bids to remain ineffable. It didn’t arrive with thunder or fanfare but rather pressed itself into my being like an ancestral watermark, a sigil left behind by the unseen hands of time. I yearned – ached – for explanations, for the deeper architecture beneath all… and yet, only the smallest droplets of divine revelation ever reached me. Each one, a holy offering. I drank them thirstily like a parched beggar might sip from the cracked rim of a sacred chalice.
I opened my eyes inward; I opened unto myself through them. And quietly, over time, subtle yet searing revelations rose from my depths like long-forgotten stars coming home to light. They arrived unannounced and sat beside me like old friends, like soul-companions returning.
In their glow, she appeared too – my grandmother, by the stove, always by the stove, stirring, cooking, baking, singing her inner-compass hymns. Her weariness silent and hidden, her heart a willing altar. Her hands – those holy instruments – carried generations. She would rise at the drop of a hat to feed the congregation, while her own soul, her voice, her dreams, were often swallowed by the enormity of duty. Silenced in ways I cannot explain to another and yet… I saw her. I heard her. I listened with wide eyes and a vulnerable open heart. I became the miner of her stories, gently coaxing the jewels from her memory-caverns, treasures buried beneath years of self-sacrificial duty. I loved those moments when the veil of obligation lifted and she was simply herself – radiant, raw, luminous with soul-truth. Her own mythology, spoken aloud.
And over there – my grandfather. Stooped, yet always reaching toward some upright dignity, clutching at the fading echoes of a masculine patriarchy that made him, silently broke him, and shaped him into this becoming. He had to believe his way was the way, that safety could be found within the known scaffolding of dictated belief. He holds such a posture of grace beneath his now translucent sheath of skin – fragile, luminous. His spine reflects the architecture of burdens, his pain a map of a lifetime spent carrying the unseen. I often watched him and wondered at the mirror between his body and his soul. And when he crossed over recently, I saw him again – his great hands stretched out in trust, drawn forward by a hidden pull, a current of divine magnetism. Love had come full circle. His ninety-year love affair with his Beloved had reached its crescendo and, at last, he surrendered – into the arms of the One he had walked with in gardens, in song, in bowed reverence. Together we would often cry, ask for forgiveness and forgive freely. The two of them – my holy grandparent duo – never closed the door of love toward me when I strayed from their beliefs. Instead, they held open the gate of unconditional love so I might wander where I felt called, even when it diverged from their own sacred grove. Somehow, they saw the infinite threads I worked with in my heart. Through them, I heard the hushed echoes of ancestral prayers – sent from lips I never knew, in tongues my mind cannot recall. Yet my body remembered. My blood remembered. A rhythm older than language stirred inside me, like a breath more ancient than time itself.
As foreign and peculiar as my perspectives may have seemed to them, there were moments when they received them – softly – and glanced back to the tapestries of their own lives. In their quiet way, they honoured my deep longing to create something new, something free, something radiant with joyous light. Unknowingly, they urged me to listen again to the long-forgotten art of the heart… the naked soul reaching forward, always seeking renewal and the sweetness of rediscovery. Their eyes would begin to glow, their bodies subtly illuminate, as they held my children close – breathing into them the forgotten dreams of our ancestors. They whispered silent prayers into the folds of time, prayers for the generations to come, hoping they might, just maybe, weave something new and release what has long been lost.
And my children know. Yes – they know it too. Not yet in words, but in shimmering, half-remembered ways that hover just beyond my reach, rippling through the cosmic waters. It is too mystical to fully grasp, yet their marrow and bones speak it to the morning sun and the moon at night. Quietly, they write soul-notes of their own, composing the strands of their tapestry, their own orchestral becoming.
And so, I stay here, with it all. In front of the golden loom of life. In stillness. In awe. Listening. Feeling. And in return I am held and guided by the rhythmic murmur beneath all things. Suf… Suf… Suf…
Eight sparkling eyes look to me daily, as though I know it all. And yet I know exactly how little I know. But I’ve come to understand that, as a human, I am the living, breathing touchpoint between the ancient past and the unborn future. The vessel through which soul, lineage and destiny converge in the now. I am the weaver – one thread drawn from the ancestral memory of all that came before, the other from the invisible realms of promise. I simply weave, with the hands of the present, holding both threads ever so lightly, reverently. In every conscious breath I take, with every intuitive act of love, I can weave something ancient and something new into the fabric of now. Humble fingers guided by the invisible – not perfectly skilled, but ever so immensely willing – holding the threads of both the memory and the dreams. In this way, I am not just raising children, I am not just a friend, not just a lover or partner, I am stewarding the evolution of life itself – one sacred moment at a time.
Weaving… Suf… Suf… Suf…
All throughout this journey – through the unravelling and the returning, through unfathomable visions and veiled working hands – suf suf suf became the subtle pulse beneath my existence. A silent mantra, plucking the tender chords of my heart over and over again. With every breath, every ache, every offering of presence, it strums me from within. To me it is not a word, but onomatopoeia in full bloom. A vibration subtly permeating all things. It is something I feel in my bones, the spiral of becoming. The quiet whisper of life weaving itself through human form, not a mantra to speak, but a current I hear in the sacred and holy stillness of the heart’s fulcrum. When breath slows, when thought dissolves, when only the thread of presence remains. It is the sound of weaving. The Divine moving through matter. The soul stitching time. In that sacred rhythm, I am no longer the doer. I am no longer trying to hold the pattern. I simply become the act of weaving itself. Becoming the breath that binds the threads. It is time undoing itself… and beginning again.
When I feel it, I am not meditating. I am not ‘doing’ anything. I am weaving with the Great Weaver. Here, I simply participate in the sacred act of holding the fabric of time together – through breath, through presence, through the yes in my bones.
Suf suf suf… the whisper of surrender between what was and what will be – the sacred yes between mother and child, between ancestor and unborn, between lover and loved, between soul and Source.
Suf. Suf. Suf.
Meet Thought Leader, Gérraine Rozenkrantz KwazuluSpirit Festival 25.07.2025 Book your Ticket
About Gérraine Rozenkrantz: Gérraine Rozenkrantz is a seasoned NLP, EFT, mBIT Master Coach, with a BA (Hons.) Psych. Counselling degree, Gérraine brings all her experience into her daily life and surroundings with vigour! She lives fully and believes anyone can create their dream life, interwoven with grace, wisdom, love and joy. She touches hearts and lives through her writing, by hosting various workshops and with public speaking engagements. Her passion towards conscious parenting is founded on her love of working with relationships holistically, honouring it as a living ecosystem of flow. Beyond her professional pursuits, Gérraine is just a homeschooling mom of four gorgeous souls, a passionate writer, weaving mystical insights into everyday life to inspire transformation. For her, life is a daily practice of infusing spiritual awareness into every moment, with as much fun as possible. She finds immense joy in exploring the world with her adventurous spirit, as she believes that each experience is there to enrich our understanding of ourselves and the universe.
We often hear the phrase “don’t look back”—as if our past holds us hostage or distracts us from the present. But what if looking back isn’t about getting stuck in old stories or regrets, but rather a quiet invitation to remember what we’ve come through, what we’ve seen, and how life has gently shaped us along the way?
I’ve spent over four decades in the personal development field, and if there’s one thing I’ve come to see, it’s that nothing from our past is wasted. Even the messy bits. Especially the messy bits.
In my 60s now, with more behind me than ahead, I find myself looking back more often—but not with nostalgia or regret. I look back to listen. To see the threads. To recognise the grace I couldn’t see at the time. And to marvel at how every single detour, breakdown, heartbreak, and unexpected turn somehow carried a seed that would blossom later.
Life Doesn’t Waste Anything There were times in my life when I would have preferred to skip ahead. Times when it felt like life had gotten it all wrong. But when I look back now, I can see the deeper intelligence that was always at work—even when I couldn’t feel it.
I remember being in my 30s, full of ambition and seeking success in all the ways I thought I should. I was ticking boxes, making plans, and doing all the “right things.” But something always felt off, like I was chasing a version of life that didn’t fit. Back then, I thought the discomfort was a sign I needed to try harder or fix myself.
But when I look back now, I see that discomfort for what it was: wisdom. A subtle nudge from life saying, “Not this way.”
That wisdom—though often disguised as restlessness, sadness, or confusion—was always present. It didn’t come from books or experts. It came from the stillness beneath the noise of my thoughts. The same stillness that’s here now, when I pause to listen.
Seeing Through New Eyes One of the most beautiful things about revisiting the past from a quieter, more present place is that you begin to see it through new eyes.
Instead of judging or analysing, I now simply notice. I see how much of my struggle came from believing thoughts that weren’t true. Thoughts that said I wasn’t enough. That I needed to achieve more. That something was missing.
And yet, when I look closer, I see that even those false beliefs had a role to play. They eventually wore me out in just the right way. They brought me to my knees—humbled, cracked open, and willing to see life differently.
I used to think transformation came from striving. Now I see it comes from softening.
The Beauty of Broken Places Looking back has also helped me soften toward the parts of myself I used to judge. The insecure teenager. The anxious young mother. The woman who pushed too hard, said the wrong thing, stayed too long, or left too soon.
There’s something deeply healing about honouring our younger selves—not to indulge them, but to acknowledge their innocence. To see how hard they tried. To thank them for getting us here.
I used to cringe at some of my past choices. Now I see them with tenderness. They were made from the level of understanding I had at the time. And from that understanding, they made perfect sense.
There’s no point in arguing with the past. It’s not a puzzle to solve. It’s a story that continues to reveal its meaning as we grow.
Let the Past Serve You, Not Define You One of the greatest gifts of looking back with presence is that it liberates us from being defined by the past. We don’t have to drag it forward like a heavy suitcase. But we can let it inform us. Guide us. Humble us. Remind us of how far we’ve come.
Every time I revisit a moment that once felt impossible, I remember that I survived. I learned. I healed. And that gives me courage when life feels uncertain again—which it always will.
Looking back isn’t about staying stuck in the past. It’s about honouring the terrain we’ve crossed so we can walk forward with more clarity, more compassion, and more trust in life itself.
There’s Nothing to Fix One of the most profound things I’ve seen over the years is that there’s nothing broken in us. Our default setting is wellbeing. Peace is not something we earn—it’s something we return to.
Looking back helps us see this truth more clearly. We see the times we were carried, even when we felt lost. We see the moments of grace that arrived when we stopped trying to figure everything out. We see how life keeps offering us a new beginning, moment to moment.
You don’t have to wait to become someone else to feel whole. The version of you reading these words—right now—is already enough. Already wise. Already whole.
Let Life Surprise You If I’ve learned anything from the past, it’s that life has a way of surprising us—often when we let go of the reins.
Some of the most beautiful chapters of my life weren’t the ones I planned. They emerged when I surrendered. When I stopped trying to control every outcome and started listening more deeply.
Looking back reminds me that the future rarely looks like we imagine. And that’s a good thing. Life is far more creative than we are.
Let the Thread Lead You There’s a thread running through your life. Maybe you’ve seen it. Maybe you haven’t. But it’s there.
It’s the thread that pulls you toward what feels real. The thread that whispers, “This way.” The thread that connects your past to your present to your future—not as a straight line, but as a spiral, an unfolding, a dance.
Looking back helps you trace that thread. Not to hold on to it, but to see where it’s leading. It reminds you that there’s always been something bigger at play. Something trustworthy. Something that knows the way—even when you don’t.
You’re Already on the Path So if you find yourself looking back lately, let it be an act of reverence. Of gratitude. Of curiosity.
Let it be a way of seeing how much you’ve grown, how much you’ve learned, and how deeply life loves you.
And then, when you’re ready, turn toward what’s next—not with fear, but with openness.
You don’t need to have it all figured out. Just bring your whole self forward. The one who’s walked through fire and joy, tears and triumph. The one who knows how to get back up. The one who’s never really been lost.
You are not starting over. You are continuing the sacred unfolding of your life.
Look back. And then walk on.
“If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world.” Sydney Banks
Meet Thought Leader, Sharon Castle KwazuluSpirit Festival 26 & 27.07.2025 Book your Ticket
About Sharon Castle: Sharon Castle is a transformational coach, mentor, and founder of Mindfit Coaching Academy. With over 40 years of experience in the personal development field and more than a decade working from the inside-out understanding known as the 3 Principles—mind, consciousness, and thought—she helps others return to their innate wellbeing and reconnect with the intelligence behind life. Through her writing, coaching, and speaking, she invites people to slow down, listen inward, and rediscover the freedom of being fully alive. Known for her down-to-earth style, deep insight, and lived wisdom, Sharon brings warmth, humility, and a spiritual perspective to all she does. At 66, she’s living proof that peace, vitality, and purpose are not destinations—they are available right here, in the present moment.
