Conscious Parenting: A Sacred Dance of Souls

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For today, these words will suffice, dear reader. For it is the mystical beginning of it all. And that is what I want to leave you with.
May we love them deeply, without interference.
May we see them truthfully, with our heart’s eyes.
May we honour their lights reverently, for they will be the custodians one day.
So may we, yes, may we… just one moment of splendour at a time.
Namaste,
G

As a parent, I’ve often found myself gazing into my children’s eyes, wondering about the mystery of their souls. What brought them here? Who are they truly meant to become? Am I equipped for this? What is my role in it? And I must admit, those weren’t always my first questions when reflecting. In the early days of parenting, my questions were more elementary. I wanted answers, clear ones, answers that would lead me to a great road map for parenting. Who doesn’t love a step-by-step guide to life, right? Maybe something universal, that works for every one of my four kids?

   But, no… That was never to be found. Ever. It was more like going to a ‘haywire’ disco and having to dance to a completely different song every 60 seconds… From classical to pop, from blues to heavy metal. Repeat. Repeat. Can you say over-stimulation in capital letters? Or just pure insanity? Well, in the end the dance must go on… there are children to care for and somewhere we just hope the answers will come through the crazy.

    Eventually, if we persevere and our heart’s eyes start to open — call it a mini parent-awakening of sorts — we realise that parenting doesn’t come with a one-size-fits-all solution. Alas, there is no perfect answer, no golden rule. As with everything in life, the answers are fluid, shifting and evolving, just as we shift and evolve. So, for me now, parenting is not about finding ‘the’ answer. It’s about learning to dance with the questions and the unknown and then finding peace within it all. It is truly a matter of the heart, a sort of spiritual ‘playing field’ where our consciousness is brought under a bright light. It is within this playing field of consciousness that we can truly see ourselves more clearly, warts and all. How gloriously our children mirror us and show us our shadow sides… fun, right?

    We, so easily and unbeknownst to us, become entangled in trying to do things ‘right’ —searching for systems and methods that promise to solve our parenting struggles. We look for certainty, control and clarity but, instead, we often find ourselves buried in the unnecessary complexity. We overthink, overdo and, in the end, we’re left with exhausted parents and stressed children — all of us caught in cycles of frustration, anxiety and burnout. Just to name a few.

     I’VE BEEN THERE TOO. But stepping out of that endless cycle was a freeing journey, one that slowly crept up on me as I grew into my own parenting. Sure, my studies helped me but, looking back, I realise that much of it only fed into the ego — an ego that seeks control in an uncertain world. And when we parent from the ego, we begin to cling to the identity of ‘parent’, as if it somehow gives us the power to control our children’s futures, behaviours and outcomes. Remember, the ego thrives on identity. And simply by calling ourselves ‘parents’ we create a sense of authority, responsibility and purpose. But when we cling too tightly to this role, we forget the deeper truth: We are not defined by roles or labels, we are ever-evolving consciousness, souls on a sacred journey through time and space.

     So, what happens if we put aside our ‘parent label’ for a moment? What do we find? We find ourselves — our authentic selves — on a consecrated journey of our own. And our children? They then too are simply their own souls, walking their own consecrated paths. For this moment, our paths align, but ultimately it is not ours to control. We are fellow travellers on the cosmic highway, together for a moment we can call ‘now’. We simply are, here, together. And within that space of sacred soul togetherness, we find ourselves free from the internal and external pressures of ‘musts’ and ‘must nots’, of wanting and controlling, of fears and anxieties. A deep profound sense of peace is discovered when we simply step into the plane of soul journeys and the eyes of our heart truly begin to… see.

     When we approach parenting from a higher perspective, the role of ‘parent’ transcends the ego. It becomes this sacred invitation to a holy feast, to co-create with our children, to evolve together in a shared experience of love, trust and growth. At that round feasting table, they are not extensions of us but are equal souls with their own wisdom and purpose. Here, it is no longer about shaping our children into our image, but about allowing ourselves to be shaped by the experience of them too — allowing them to teach our souls just as much, if not more, than we teach them.

     This realisation hit me in a particularly humbling way, on a very dark day. I remember sitting on my bed, feeling the weight of it all — juggling everything, feeling depleted and absolutely beyond empty. I was pulled to one of my favourite books The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran. I read his piece about children as I’ve done countless of times before, but this time it was different. So, I read it over and over again. Each time, something inside me unravelled. My ‘parent’ mould started to crack. And as it did, I simply let it — bit by bit, piece by piece. What was left was not just peace, but a profound sense of freedom and clarity. In that dark emptiness, I somehow found the grace and space to grow deeper into my own roots. (Isn’t it always like that though? The dark leading the way to the light.)

    In the breaking of that mould, I uncovered a truth far greater than any ego role I had clung to. I realised that even, with the best efforts, I had nothing to truly shape or control, I was merely a witness and sometimes a guide. The pressure to ‘do it all’ dissolved and was replaced by a new understanding: I am called simply to be present, open and authentic with my children, meeting them where they were, without the need for fixing, controlling, knowing or trying. In letting go of my attachment to the role of ‘parent’, I reclaimed pieces of my own wholeness. And, consequently, I discovered a deeper connection with them — one not bound by ego or expectations, but rooted in a pure, unfiltered space of love. Therefore, I would love to share Kahlil’s words with you and journey into his wisdom from an inquisitive heart space.

“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts.”

This is the profound truth we must embrace: Our children are not possessions nor extensions of ourselves, but unique expressions of the Divine, longing to manifest and know itself. We are merely vessels through which life flows, not the source of it. Our children are entrusted to us temporarily, yet they ultimately belong to the infinite. We are to honour this magnificent gift and then surrender into it. Parenting will then beautifully unfold into an act of stewardship. Yes, we can guide, nurture and love our children, but we don’t intend to mould them into our image or impose our desires on them, for they are sovereign beings, each with their own thoughts, dreams and destinies.

“You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.”

Our children’s souls live in the ‘house of tomorrow’ — a realm beyond our control and understanding. We may offer our souls in love, but we cannot impose ourselves, fears, or expectations onto them. Attempting to shape their minds or spirits according to our ideals denies their connection to their own divine path. Each child is born into a new era and new dawn, carrying the seeds for a future we cannot ultimately know. How can the old then build the new? It can’t. Life goes not backward, nor tarries with yesterday. So uncloak yourself from the old and welcome everything new, intuitively sensing the way forward, day by day. Just… be present.

“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.”

We as parents provide a dynamic foundation from which our children can be launched into the ever-unfolding new world. Like the bow, we can bend and sometimes endure challenges and growth to allow the arrow to fly. This bending is a humbling process, one that requires us to release and trust that our children’s destinies are already unfolding. It can also be seen as the inner work and shadow work we find ourselves doing for the greater good of those we love. ‘Custodian parenting’ is about finding balance between holding on and letting go, between guiding and stepping back and this we can only find when we are connected to who we authentically are – with our own connection to the Divine. Our role is not to micro-manage our children’s paths but to nurture, observe and encourage them as they discover their unique journeys. By embracing this, we honour not only our children but also the Divine plan that flows through them — and through us.

     So, let us step into the present moment and dare to look through unveiled eyes so we can behold our unique parenting journeys – for it is a journey of introspection and growth, of light and love. Let us hold our children — yes — but not too tightly. Let us guide them but also allow them to be the inspired authors of their lives. And, most importantly, let us love them fully and wholly, just as they are. “The parenting journey is a glorious dance between souls. So may we revere it as such and simply… dance along…”

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